I haven't written in here is so long so I must apologize to those who are following my blog. Is anyone following my blog? Anyway, let's go back to where I left off...
April was busy. My niece got married to the guy she met on the first day of university. This niece is very special to me (I have several). Her parents got divorced when she was about 14 years old. After that she came to me with various teenage problems. I took her buy clothes, to the drugstore when her face broke out, stuff like that. Now she is a lawyer (with a job!) and I'm very proud of her. She was the most radiant bride I've ever seen. So you'd think that my niece getting married took up one evening of my time. Not so in our family. The Friday night before the wedding her grandparents made a dinner for 50 people. The next morning the groom had his Aufruf. When a Jewish man gets married he is called to the Torah in synagogue the day before his wedding which is most commonly a Saturday morning. However, it can actually happen any time between the engagement and the wedding on either Monday, Thursday or Saturday morning. My husband had two aufrufs. One here in Toronto at his parents' synagogue and another one in Edmonton (where we got married) the day before our wedding. My nephew had his on a Thursday morning at his grandparents' synagogue so that his uncle and his cousin, who are very observant Jews could be there since Saturday is the Sabbath and one isn't supposed to drive. Anyway, I'm babbling. The day of the wedding started for us at 11 a.m. when the girl I had hired to do my daughter's, my son's girlfriend's and my makeup and hair. Then there were the pictures before the ceremony, etc. etc.
The week after that was Passover. We went to my sister-in-law's the first night as we always do. No work for me but getting to bed after midnight is never good for my health. The next night we had a seder with our friends. Years ago I used to make the second seder in our house and invite 4 or 5 families who weren't obligated to attend one at the in-laws. I haven't been able to do that for about four years so we just have a quiet evening with friends who also happen to live down the street and my husband went to high school with her husband over 30 years ago.
Then I got sick. I got so sick that I made an appointment with the resperologists in the lung transplant department. I despise going there and try to avoid it at all costs, save the once a year assessment that I have to go to.
Ok, so now I wait for the doctors to do their part and figure it out. Years ago, when I first got sick one of the doctors I saw told me that the book of what the don't know is much bigger than the book of what they do know. I hope that isn't the case this time.
Sunday 26 June 2016
quiet time
I am two hours north/east of Toronto at the cottage. When I got up early this morning and sat at the dining room table sipping my coffee the foliage on the other side of the lake was reflected in the water. Water so smooth it looked like glass. I came up here with my husband a couple of days ago but he left early this morning. So it's just me for the week. When I told one of my friends about my plans, she asked me if I was scared. Scared of what? Being alone? Solitude? A chance to write with no distractions? However the main reason I came here is because it's going to be very hot and humid in the city all week. The weather reports go something like this: "It's 32 degrees out there but with the humidex it will feel like 40". As far as I'm concerned, that humidex is speaking to people like me, people who can't breathe all that well. Up here, on the lake, it is still hot outside but I can breathe much better .
My last pulmonary function test (basically how well I can breathe) showed a significant drop. Now I wait for the results of the CT scan that was done last week. I was very upset to see this drop (I know how to read these tests by now). Especially when the doctor told me that once your breathing capacity drops you can never recover it. So here I am, breathing.
My last pulmonary function test (basically how well I can breathe) showed a significant drop. Now I wait for the results of the CT scan that was done last week. I was very upset to see this drop (I know how to read these tests by now). Especially when the doctor told me that once your breathing capacity drops you can never recover it. So here I am, breathing.
Wednesday 1 June 2016
Tests you can't study for
First of all, I had started writing here at the end of last week and thought I had saved it but I can't find it anywhere! Also, I realized I hadn't written here in so long! Partially because I've been busy (my niece got married, than Passover, than my kids coming home from university for the summer...) and because I have been feeling terrible!. So bad in fact that I went to see the respirologist on the lung transplant team. I try to avoid going there at all costs for many reasons but here's just a couple of examples.
Two years ago I was admitted to hospital because of my headaches. One day a psych nurse came to see me. She explained that she was employed by the hospital 8:30 to 4:30 (not paid by our health care system) and she only worked with transplant patients who'd had their surgery 1 - 2 years ago. Then she told me I had pre-existing anxiety disorder. She didn't even know me! We had only spoken for about 5 minutes! Plus, as a psych nurse she is not allowed to make diagnoses.
About 5 or 6 years ago I was having terrible stomach aches and was sent to see a gastroenterologist. (Wow, I spelled that right). He did a few tests and concluded that my system was backed up i.e.: that I was literally full of shit! Nothing was done about it although. Last July I came in to see the resperologist because I was having trouble breathing. I did a breathing test and my scores had taken quite a drop. A CT scan was done, the dr. gave me an inhaler to use when I needed to and sent me on my way.
So, when I went in to see them last week they pulled out the two tests I mentioned above. Seriously? I said to the dr. (by the way, you never get to see the same dr. twice). You want to do something about these old tests now? She showed me the CT scan and pointed out some white dots on my lungs which indicate infection. So I've been walking around for a whole year with a lung infection? Unbelievable. Going for another CT scan on June 6th. They also want me to do another gastro test. This test involves eating half an egg sandwich (I wouldn't touch an egg sandwich with a 10 foot pole!) that has been laced with some kind of dye. I am not doing that test. At least not yet.
More soon! Keep reading and please comments.
Two years ago I was admitted to hospital because of my headaches. One day a psych nurse came to see me. She explained that she was employed by the hospital 8:30 to 4:30 (not paid by our health care system) and she only worked with transplant patients who'd had their surgery 1 - 2 years ago. Then she told me I had pre-existing anxiety disorder. She didn't even know me! We had only spoken for about 5 minutes! Plus, as a psych nurse she is not allowed to make diagnoses.
About 5 or 6 years ago I was having terrible stomach aches and was sent to see a gastroenterologist. (Wow, I spelled that right). He did a few tests and concluded that my system was backed up i.e.: that I was literally full of shit! Nothing was done about it although. Last July I came in to see the resperologist because I was having trouble breathing. I did a breathing test and my scores had taken quite a drop. A CT scan was done, the dr. gave me an inhaler to use when I needed to and sent me on my way.
So, when I went in to see them last week they pulled out the two tests I mentioned above. Seriously? I said to the dr. (by the way, you never get to see the same dr. twice). You want to do something about these old tests now? She showed me the CT scan and pointed out some white dots on my lungs which indicate infection. So I've been walking around for a whole year with a lung infection? Unbelievable. Going for another CT scan on June 6th. They also want me to do another gastro test. This test involves eating half an egg sandwich (I wouldn't touch an egg sandwich with a 10 foot pole!) that has been laced with some kind of dye. I am not doing that test. At least not yet.
More soon! Keep reading and please comments.
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